marc owen jones

Collecting Virtues

Susannah Sixpence was my last absorption; honesty through chastity my final claimed virtue. I am pure.

I should introduce myself. My name is Benedict Felix Slaughterman. It’s a hell of a mouthful and most people call me Ben, or Benny. I prefer Ben; it has an un-pompous dignity to it. Benny, on the other hand, just reminds me of Crossroads or Benny Hill; it’s a sad, slow, slapstick sort of name. If I were to choose now I would go for Felix, because that’s kind of cool and creative. I remember Mum telling me that I was named after Felix Unger, a character in the Odd Couple, played by Jack Lemon. I saw it and didn’t laugh once; I guess it hasn’t aged well. Slaughterman comes from the days when my ancestors were butchers. I didn’t fall too far from the tree on that one.

It started when I was fourteen.


Collecting Virtues (4,993 words) was completed May 2014. I was Long Listed in the 2015 Fish Short Story competition.

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